Another hot button issue in our country is of course abortion. I must admit that I am in most accounts Pro-life and always have been. My faith and my moral framework have shaped this as a choice for me. I however, do understand that there are times when very serious decisions need to be made with regards to the health of the mother, the baby, the way in which the pregnancy has been conceived and those decisions should be made and left up to the woman, the mother, and perhaps in conjunction with her partner, husband, boyfriend, one night stand etc.
However, in our journey to conceive and in this new chapter of considering adoption, abortion becomes much more real and close to my heart. My husband and I understand that in order for us to be a mommy and a daddy we are asking for a women to be courageous enough to face the cruelty of this world, the stares, the questions, and the talking behind her back and than make the ultimate sacrifice of unconditional love by giving Andrew and I her baby to raise and to love. In the pain of our infertility journey I couldn't imagine the anguish that a woman must go through in making the choice of adoption for her child and this is the journey that Andrew and I are on if we are to have a family.
A few weeks ago in a very bizarre and round about way Andrew and I were made aware of a single women in her early forties who found out she was pregnant. We came to find out through a family member that she is an incredibly successful woman and has dedicated her life to building her career and completing higher levels of education. In all ways she should be celebrated in her accomplishments and commended in her success; we as women know that climbing the corporate ladder can be quite difficult and in many cases much harder. I am not in anyway taking away from her success or her choices in remaining single and making the life choices which were best for her within her goals. In fact, I am a champion of celebrating the diversity of women and the choices we are able to make which hopefully fulfill and enhance our life experiences. Of course being a Christian, I am hoping that within these choices is the calling a woman feels upon her life.
Which, takes us back to the story, Andrew and I learned that this woman had scheduled an abortion appointment and canceled and then scheduled a second and canceled it again. I don't know what was or who was influencing her to cancel these appointments she just did. This is where Andrew and I learned of her and her pregnancy. We were given a phone number and we made a call to one of her family members. We both had no idea how the person on the other end was going to react as this was a really uncomfortable and incredibly emotional phone call to make... "Um hi we heard that one of your family members is pregnant and we were given you number and we want to share our story and see if your family member would be willing to adopt her baby to us..." Yeah, it was pretty much that crazy and that vulnerable.
The woman on the other end listened to our story and cried with us as we shared our journey and our desire to be parents. She listened as we described our deep understanding that our "normal" was going to be a bit different than other peoples normal. That our family structure was going to look a bit different than other family structures. We also understood and do understand as best we can the incredible gift and sacrifice we are asking of her family member and that we would honor her in the amount of involvement she and they would want to have in the community which would love and raise this little baby.
In the course of the conversation we learned a bit more about the family member who was pregnant. She was in her early forties and successful. She never wanted to have children and that this pregnancy was completely unplanned and a total shock and surprise. *Although, PSA, if you do the deed between a man and a woman the possibility is always there no matter how much precaution you take*
We learned that this woman set an abortion appointment right away, but for some reason decided to cancel it. She than researched about pregnancy in your early forties and found out about all the enhanced risk that a woman and a baby may face so she set an OBGYN appointment to check on the viability and health of the baby. She did all the tests including those that carry their own high risk and it came back that she was carrying a healthy baby girl. The woman on the phone, the pregnant woman's family member, indicated that this was potentially a way to help make the abortion decision easier, but it turned out possibly to make it more difficult as she learned she was carrying a healthy baby girl. The woman again made an appointment for an abortion and canceled. The woman on the phone said that adoption had been discussed with the pregnant woman, but she was adamant about not wanting to do an adoption because she felt very strongly about not being able to carry a baby for nine months and then give it away. Even though according to the family member on the phone she repeatedly said she didn't want the baby or children.
The family member on the phone asked if we would write our story and send her an email with some pictures. Andrew and I agreed and we sat on a Sunday evening and wrote out our story. It took us some time as we needed time to process our emotions, to cry a bit, to be angry a bit, and to hope a bit. We wanted to make sure we told the woman, who was pregnant, that we understood that what we are asking of her is unfair and would require courage and sacrifice. We also wanted to make sure that no matter her decision she was still valued.
We sent the letter, our story, our hopes, our dreams, and our desires to be a mommy and a daddy to this stranger who was hopefully going to have a moment to share it with her pregnant family member. We carefully chose pictures hoping they showed that we were fun, adventurous, but also cautious. Pictures that hopefully represented who we were and the potential life this little baby girl could have with Andrew and I. When the send button was pushed I felt numb... I still feel numb...
We haven't heard anything from either women. We don't know if the abortion took place, if there has been any opportunity to share our story, but I still hope...
My prayers have sounded a bit like this:
Lord, please be with this woman as she must on her own make this incredibly difficult decision. Please surround her with people who will give her support no matter what. Lord, you know the desire of my heart, that I would love to be blessed with this little baby girl. That Andrew and I would love her with all of hearts and every bit of our being. Lord, please protect this little girl. Let her continue to grow strong. Lord, if this woman does choose to abort this little girl, I pray that you rejoice as you welcome a new angel into your kingdom. Lord, protect my heart as I want so badly to hope for the most unlikely possibility. Let me remain realistic and let my prayers reflect that as well. Lord, please be with this woman no matter the choice. If she chooses to continue with this pregnancy, Lord please give her courage, if she chooses to terminate this pregnancy please Lord, give her peace. Lord, I pray that you give the family member an opportunity to share our story with this woman, that she reads our story and gives us an opportunity to share it with her. My heart is broken and I do desire to be a mommy and would love to be the mommy to this little girl.
Adoption is an unimaginable set of circumstances which require very different people to make very courageous choices. My adoption journey is just beginning and I am trying to prepare my heart and myself for the journey ahead. I know I will make an incredible mommy one day and will adore, treasure, love and cherish the woman that blesses me with that opportunity.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A round about congrats to Kim K
I have decided that this blog is really an outlet for me when I am ready I write and when I need to let some things out this is the place I am able to do it. I do also hope that its a place that people visit on occasion to get an update, to hear my heart, or to potentially find that they are not alone as we all struggle with some difficult aspects in life and painful journeys.
I was already to write a post about the latest Kardashian announcement, no not the one about Kim being pregnant, as I would never take away that incredible miracle from any one, even if I do think you are an absolute drain on society with no meaningful substance (oops did I write that). No, I am talking about her interview on the Today Show about her fertility struggle (you can see the interview here). I was all ready to say how dare you... my heart raced, I initially felt anger, pain, jealousy; like I need to call out this "starlet" for not understanding the deep loneliness and utter despair a woman feels when she is trying to have a baby and does everything in her power to have that life grow inside of her, but time after time, effort after effort, doctors appointment after doctors appointment the news is bad.
However, I don't know Kim K's situation or what she was told by her doctors. My understanding from the interview is that she is going to discuss it on her upcoming reality television show, but I won't be watching not because of the pregnancy but because I think its worthless television. Ok I am getting a bit snarky and because of this my message could potentially be lost...
Even though my initial response was to be mad and then jealous of Kim I want to make it clear that having a baby is difficult no matter what and its an incredible gift and miracle to be able to make life. A struggle is a struggle no matter how big or small and a gift of a miracle is to be celebrated.
My healing journey has been long and will continue to be a healing journey. As Andrew and I prayerfully embark on the next steps in our life together and decide on the options available to us we will and have been grieving for things that we will both never have the opportunity to experience. Infertility is hard because its lonely and in a lot of ways a silent suffering. You (I) can't stop participating in the changing lives of my friends as they have children, I can't avoid baby showers even though they hurt. I can't avoid the comments from women of why I don't have a child yet, and that Andrew and I better get trying because I am not getting any younger... I know these women don't mean anything by what they are saying, but no matter the choice or circumstances women are more than baby makers and some of us can't even be the baby maker you are asking of us...
As I grieve and as you think of those who you know who are struggling with infertility these are just a few things I will miss that I have to heal from:
1. I will never know the excitement and uneasiness of a positive pee stick
2. I will never make the call to my partner to tell them the results
3. I will never utter the words "I am pregnant and having a baby"
4. I will never feel the growth of life inside of me
5. I will never hear my baby's first heart beat
6. I will never experience the excitement of seeing the life growing inside me on an ultrasound
7. I will never see the joy and fear on my partners face when they view the baby for the first time
8. I will never have my partner put his hand on my stomach to feel the baby
9. I will never pray over the baby in my tummy
10. I will never go through the hospital visits and birthing classes
11. I will never feel the pains of labor
12. I will never witness the fear of my husbands face as he races me to the hospital
13. I will never give birth
14. I will never hold my baby (or a baby) right after they are born and experience the skin to skin touch
15. I will never have the connection of breast feeding
16. I will never be able to see the baby that Andrew and I could make
These are only a few of the items I have had to mourn and heal from before I was ready to move forward. I share this list because I think its important to understand what infertility really means and the loss which occurs because of this inability. Especially to those who so carelessly feel its okay to ask a young lady about her "baby making" plans. Perhaps she is in the middle of healing from her own list of loss.
I still have my faith that my God is greater than this list than my loss, that a miracle can occur and I too can feel all of the above mentioned, but I am at a place of peace and joy of knowing that there is another path for Andrew and I. That family in so many ways comes in so many different packages. My heart is bursting with love for a child and I am looking forward to this next journey.
I will continue to post as Andrew and I make decisions and hope that all of you will partner with us in prayer over the next steps.
God is great... all the time!
A perfectly tarnished child of God
I was already to write a post about the latest Kardashian announcement, no not the one about Kim being pregnant, as I would never take away that incredible miracle from any one, even if I do think you are an absolute drain on society with no meaningful substance (oops did I write that). No, I am talking about her interview on the Today Show about her fertility struggle (you can see the interview here). I was all ready to say how dare you... my heart raced, I initially felt anger, pain, jealousy; like I need to call out this "starlet" for not understanding the deep loneliness and utter despair a woman feels when she is trying to have a baby and does everything in her power to have that life grow inside of her, but time after time, effort after effort, doctors appointment after doctors appointment the news is bad.
However, I don't know Kim K's situation or what she was told by her doctors. My understanding from the interview is that she is going to discuss it on her upcoming reality television show, but I won't be watching not because of the pregnancy but because I think its worthless television. Ok I am getting a bit snarky and because of this my message could potentially be lost...
Even though my initial response was to be mad and then jealous of Kim I want to make it clear that having a baby is difficult no matter what and its an incredible gift and miracle to be able to make life. A struggle is a struggle no matter how big or small and a gift of a miracle is to be celebrated.
My healing journey has been long and will continue to be a healing journey. As Andrew and I prayerfully embark on the next steps in our life together and decide on the options available to us we will and have been grieving for things that we will both never have the opportunity to experience. Infertility is hard because its lonely and in a lot of ways a silent suffering. You (I) can't stop participating in the changing lives of my friends as they have children, I can't avoid baby showers even though they hurt. I can't avoid the comments from women of why I don't have a child yet, and that Andrew and I better get trying because I am not getting any younger... I know these women don't mean anything by what they are saying, but no matter the choice or circumstances women are more than baby makers and some of us can't even be the baby maker you are asking of us...
As I grieve and as you think of those who you know who are struggling with infertility these are just a few things I will miss that I have to heal from:
1. I will never know the excitement and uneasiness of a positive pee stick
2. I will never make the call to my partner to tell them the results
3. I will never utter the words "I am pregnant and having a baby"
4. I will never feel the growth of life inside of me
5. I will never hear my baby's first heart beat
6. I will never experience the excitement of seeing the life growing inside me on an ultrasound
7. I will never see the joy and fear on my partners face when they view the baby for the first time
8. I will never have my partner put his hand on my stomach to feel the baby
9. I will never pray over the baby in my tummy
10. I will never go through the hospital visits and birthing classes
11. I will never feel the pains of labor
12. I will never witness the fear of my husbands face as he races me to the hospital
13. I will never give birth
14. I will never hold my baby (or a baby) right after they are born and experience the skin to skin touch
15. I will never have the connection of breast feeding
16. I will never be able to see the baby that Andrew and I could make
These are only a few of the items I have had to mourn and heal from before I was ready to move forward. I share this list because I think its important to understand what infertility really means and the loss which occurs because of this inability. Especially to those who so carelessly feel its okay to ask a young lady about her "baby making" plans. Perhaps she is in the middle of healing from her own list of loss.
I still have my faith that my God is greater than this list than my loss, that a miracle can occur and I too can feel all of the above mentioned, but I am at a place of peace and joy of knowing that there is another path for Andrew and I. That family in so many ways comes in so many different packages. My heart is bursting with love for a child and I am looking forward to this next journey.
I will continue to post as Andrew and I make decisions and hope that all of you will partner with us in prayer over the next steps.
God is great... all the time!
A perfectly tarnished child of God
Monday, November 12, 2012
A Country Divided - A Sovereign God
I do not hide the fact nor make excuses that my faith governs my life and plays an enormous and truly the most important part in dictating who I am, how I live, how I love, how I treat others and what I should do in this world. I felt it was important to make this statement before I continue this post. I believe in transparency and feel that perhaps the inauthenticity of our culture is potentially one of the most destructive aspects of what is plaguing us today.
As a simple observer my heart breaks for the division my country, the United States, is feeling currently after this election. It is not important as to which candidate I personally voted for, as I am neither overly joyed or angry as to who is currently in office. In fact, I was quite disappointed in the choices that I had before me when casting my vote, if I am going to be completely honest. I chose to vote for the person who represented my views within the context of economics, social issues, security of our nation, and foreign policy. Between the two main candidates they both ranked higher and lower on each of the categories that I based my vote on and I had to make the ultimate choice to represent my vision for America.
I want to state that again, I voted for the candidate which represented MY vision for America. We are a country divided because half of our country felt victory and half of our country felt defeat because THEIR vision for America may or may not have been realized and solidified.
But I challenge both sides to step back and to ask ourselves, how did we get to a place where literally split down the middle are two different ideologies which at least described amongst media outlets have a visceral hate toward the other. To the extent that the "talking heads" on BOTH sides are making incredibly mean spirited and quite ignorant commentary and descriptions of those within the opposite party.
SHAME on us SHAME on us. We are a great nation which gives the RIGHT for its citizens to vote freely with out duress and consequence. Many who came before us fought tirelessly for the rights which we as the citizens of the United States are able to practice. Even the right to openly disagree or agree with passionate rhetoric. There are so many in this world who do not and may never understand the truest blessing of having our voice heard and counted no matter the outcome. We don't know the terror and fear so many of our brothers and sisters around the world face when they attempt to ask for liberty or whisper in the depths for change. Shame on us for showing the world how spoiled we are and how much we take our freedoms for granted.
The world is always watching America, what is our response. How will we lead by humble example that we are a nation which respects, cherishes, honors its leaders and the rights which we have fought so hard to keep and which we attempt to inspire other citizens of this world to desire.
I serve a sovereign God who is all knowing. Who is walking side by side with our president and our leaders. Who will not leave either side even if His name and council is not sought. Because we are a nation who understands the greatness of prayer.
To my brothers and sisters who call Jesus their savior. We are asked to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbors. As my friend Chris Huertz challenges us, our friendships and our love for our neighbors should be no less then the love that Jesus had for Judas full knowing he would betray Him.
I started this post speaking about transparency and authenticity. My challenge Church is to love, to reach out, to care for, to fight for, to show Jesus in all ways. No matter the outcome we are called to lived like Jesus. We are called to humble ourselves and be servants of this world and create Kingdom here on earth as it is in Heaven.
For those who do not necessarily understand or agree with my faith. There is something amazing about knowing that a savior loves you for who you are and is willing to meet you where you are no matter the judgements of this world. God invites you to the table, I invite you to the table in agreement and disagreement you are my brother you are my sister and I love you as Jesus loves you.
A perfectly tarnished child of God
As a simple observer my heart breaks for the division my country, the United States, is feeling currently after this election. It is not important as to which candidate I personally voted for, as I am neither overly joyed or angry as to who is currently in office. In fact, I was quite disappointed in the choices that I had before me when casting my vote, if I am going to be completely honest. I chose to vote for the person who represented my views within the context of economics, social issues, security of our nation, and foreign policy. Between the two main candidates they both ranked higher and lower on each of the categories that I based my vote on and I had to make the ultimate choice to represent my vision for America.
I want to state that again, I voted for the candidate which represented MY vision for America. We are a country divided because half of our country felt victory and half of our country felt defeat because THEIR vision for America may or may not have been realized and solidified.
But I challenge both sides to step back and to ask ourselves, how did we get to a place where literally split down the middle are two different ideologies which at least described amongst media outlets have a visceral hate toward the other. To the extent that the "talking heads" on BOTH sides are making incredibly mean spirited and quite ignorant commentary and descriptions of those within the opposite party.
SHAME on us SHAME on us. We are a great nation which gives the RIGHT for its citizens to vote freely with out duress and consequence. Many who came before us fought tirelessly for the rights which we as the citizens of the United States are able to practice. Even the right to openly disagree or agree with passionate rhetoric. There are so many in this world who do not and may never understand the truest blessing of having our voice heard and counted no matter the outcome. We don't know the terror and fear so many of our brothers and sisters around the world face when they attempt to ask for liberty or whisper in the depths for change. Shame on us for showing the world how spoiled we are and how much we take our freedoms for granted.
The world is always watching America, what is our response. How will we lead by humble example that we are a nation which respects, cherishes, honors its leaders and the rights which we have fought so hard to keep and which we attempt to inspire other citizens of this world to desire.
I serve a sovereign God who is all knowing. Who is walking side by side with our president and our leaders. Who will not leave either side even if His name and council is not sought. Because we are a nation who understands the greatness of prayer.
To my brothers and sisters who call Jesus their savior. We are asked to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbors. As my friend Chris Huertz challenges us, our friendships and our love for our neighbors should be no less then the love that Jesus had for Judas full knowing he would betray Him.
I started this post speaking about transparency and authenticity. My challenge Church is to love, to reach out, to care for, to fight for, to show Jesus in all ways. No matter the outcome we are called to lived like Jesus. We are called to humble ourselves and be servants of this world and create Kingdom here on earth as it is in Heaven.
For those who do not necessarily understand or agree with my faith. There is something amazing about knowing that a savior loves you for who you are and is willing to meet you where you are no matter the judgements of this world. God invites you to the table, I invite you to the table in agreement and disagreement you are my brother you are my sister and I love you as Jesus loves you.
A perfectly tarnished child of God
Monday, October 15, 2012
With Baggage Spread Out, Encouragement is Here
After reading my post this morning I realized that much of this blog has been filled with my heart ache and the deep struggles and painful experiences I have endured over the last few years.
I wanted this morning to share some of the really amazing and absolutely joyful pieces that have come from this time I have had in waiting on the Lord.
Today, I can confidently say that I am happy. I laugh often. I am renewed by the new and old relationships in my life. I have space and capacity to nurture the new people who have come into my life and have a desire to invest back into the relationships which have bravely stood with me through my struggles.
I am energized by my future no matter how uncertain it feels right now, I am genuinely excited to take the steps into the unknown.
I smile and I smile with everything I have because there is nothing I feel that is dragging me down. I love hard and I hold on hard.
I crave the warm and secure embrace of my husband and the hugs from others. I no longer pull away as I did for so long when a touch felt so painful and it created anxious feelings inside. Now I am free to show, experience, and be a part of the love others want to give me and the love I want to give them.
My healing is not over, but I am healing. I am loving, I am laughing, I am growing... I am taking one step at a time.
I know my life has purpose and I am confident that as I lean on my Creator and let go of all the things which have held me back, as deep and painful as they may be, I will find my way and I will be stronger and more beautiful on the other side.
Love a perfectly tarnished child of God
I wanted this morning to share some of the really amazing and absolutely joyful pieces that have come from this time I have had in waiting on the Lord.
Today, I can confidently say that I am happy. I laugh often. I am renewed by the new and old relationships in my life. I have space and capacity to nurture the new people who have come into my life and have a desire to invest back into the relationships which have bravely stood with me through my struggles.
I am energized by my future no matter how uncertain it feels right now, I am genuinely excited to take the steps into the unknown.
I smile and I smile with everything I have because there is nothing I feel that is dragging me down. I love hard and I hold on hard.
I crave the warm and secure embrace of my husband and the hugs from others. I no longer pull away as I did for so long when a touch felt so painful and it created anxious feelings inside. Now I am free to show, experience, and be a part of the love others want to give me and the love I want to give them.
My healing is not over, but I am healing. I am loving, I am laughing, I am growing... I am taking one step at a time.
I know my life has purpose and I am confident that as I lean on my Creator and let go of all the things which have held me back, as deep and painful as they may be, I will find my way and I will be stronger and more beautiful on the other side.
Love a perfectly tarnished child of God
Confessions of a Shop-a-holic
This post was my original, but the previous post entitled “Unemployment Soap Box" below sort of came out in the midst of this post. Its incredibly late while I am writing both of these two posts which may explain the some what rant based first post with regards to my unemployment and job creation annoyance within the current election season...
Anyways I feel I need to post about something, or perhaps its more of a public confession. I don’t want to make excuses for why I have done, what I did, but I do think its important and a part of my healing process that I also try to be as open to myself as I write my feelings sitting here tonight in the dark alone.
However, today in a moment of utter humiliation I realized that perhaps losing my job took a much deeper toll on me than I was either unable to recognize or simply chose not to recognize. For the time being I don’t think it really matters which one is the reason. I haven't really blogged much about my job loss and the identity which I had associated with my career. I do believe as everything else fell apart the most painful items took precedent and were the most obvious not only to me but also to others and it was easier to process through what was right at the forefront. What I am about to confess is more or less a symptom or at least the result of many symptoms and it may or may not directly and/or indirectly be related to job loss. But really this is another step in my ability to fully heal and learn to lean completely on my Lord and Savior.
Here we go...
I conceptually understood how much value I put into my position and how much my identity was engulfed in the titles and projects that I was a part of. My career path and trajectory truly consumed the very fabric of who I was and how I would describe myself to others. It was a badge of honor that I could wear and a very protective armor that I could hide behind from the judgements of the world. Lets be honest what is the first thing you ask someone, what do you do? Its how we gage others, its how we begin to place them into our neat little identity boxes. How we start to connect with them based on shared “American” norms of success and perseverance. The American dream in its most basic form is centered completely on the most magnificent rise to the top. Its in our DNA to wrap ourselves in our careers.
Shopping for me was a mask to save face in front of others. It was a way for me to pretend that everything was okay. That I hadn’t really lost everything. It was also one of the only things I could count on that gave me feelings. I truly received a high when I purchase something, and when for so long I had been so numb to everything, everything that was in my life and around me. This high of purchasing something I craved deeply because for just a brief moment I knew I was still alive and I fit in with all of these other people, that to me in my confused and hazed state, had it all together. I wanted to be them, I wanted the casual freedom back of not caring about the purchases I made, I wanted the selfish need to please me and only me. I craved it, I desired, it, I needed it...
But today, standing in front of the person I love the most, I have to through absolute brokeness, say I am sorry. I have put us in a position that undermines the very fragile financial state that we have been in since I lost my job. I have to confess the selfish, ugly, self fulfilling things that I did with out any sense of others. I have nothing to show for the destruction that I have caused. Only a closet full of items which are nice, but not necessary. Which did not bring me healing, fulfillment or life.
I have to say I am sorry because I hurt him and broke the trust between he and I.
I am broken, I am hurting, and I am asking God to please please remember me. I am sorry for the idols I put in front of the amazing Creator who made me full in His image. I am sorry I am only now learning that my fear consumed me and I couldn’t be transparent and vulnerable enough to allow You Lord to be my only desire, my only fulfillment, my only need.
I don’t understand the whys, but I am so grateful for Your love and for the amazing love you have given me through my husband who is desperately trying to reach me.
Tonight, with my baggage in the open I ask my family and friends to help me to pray for us. I have created a mountain which faithfully we can move...
Love a perfectly tarnished child of God
Unemployment Soap Box
For many of you who have been following this blog know that I lost my job in December 2010. In the midst of some very personal circumstances with our infertility treatment my job/career was also taken away from me. I have sent in countless cover letters and resumes to companies, organizations, and government institutions all over the city and the nation to be frank. I have received one, ONE, phone call back on a resume which resulted in an interview of which I never heard anything back even after a few times of attempting to follow up with the organization.
So here is my unemployed soap box moment; as the election looms near and within every debate, commercial and town hall meeting, jobs, joblessness, job creations, and unemployment are front in center. Why, simply because the unemployment rate in the country is still lingering around the 8-10% mark and in the city of Chicago and the state of Illinois its on the higher end of the national average. My biggest concern for my future as a 30-something voter is that the jobs which both parties name specifically in their promises are jobs which require a discernible skill set, like construction work, bridge building, infrastructure improvement, engineering projects etc.
Please do not miss understand these areas need job growth and creation, but what about the upper-middle manager who was laid off when their company needed to downsize? The unemployed people who have “non-tangible” skill sets like management, human resources, change/conflict consultants, organizational behavior experts, operations, international business and relations experts, etc. I fall into this category.
I did everything right. I studied hard and earned the “correct” undergrad. Got my first job after graduating which for me actually took me overseas for a bit. I climbed the ladder and was a high performer within every opportunity. After a few years I went back to further my education and while working full time I earned two masters degrees. Yet, I seem to fall into this category of either too much experience or too little.
I want to hear how the candidates are actually going to reward the students for graduating and doing all the things that both parties have asked of us. I want to know what industries they are actually going to create not simply “Modern New-Deal” type projects which will only mask or put a bandaid on the real issues.
I am critical thinker, problem solver, I like to go into a place and drill down to uncover the real issues and not just symptoms of what is happening. I like strategic planning and investing in the right people for the right industry, company, job. I believe that organizations can have a sense of organic systems which give life and breed organization values and belief systems. I like understanding the unconscious beliefs and values which make the system move and how you can better utilize that system to optimize your companies potential... Yeah, I am a geek when it comes to these areas and I am good at it, but no messages on my phone, no emails in my inbox...
Romney, Obama, what are you going to do with the millions of educated managers out of work?!?
Love a perfectly tarnished child of God
Thursday, September 27, 2012
A Hope and a Prayer
Have you ever thought about doing something so far out of your comfort zone? Perhaps its traveling or starting a new job, maybe its simply going to a new place and meeting new people.
I am challenging myself to attempt to do something which takes a bit of discipline and time. It will hopefully help me purge through my feelings and digest some of the deep down feelings that I have not yet sorted through.
I am going to take the time to re-read the posts and use them as inspiration to reflect and push me to move forward. I want to be my biggest cheerleader and I want to be retrospective.
This will hopefully be a time where I grow and find the voice that I have been speaking about on this blog. I have put it out there that direction, strength, and steps forward are what I have been desperately searching for and I am hoping this new self disciplined adventure will assist me in putting one foot in front of the other.
I apologize for the evasiveness of this post as I am not sure I am quite ready to reveal what my new adventure is going to be, but perhaps there will come a time when I describe what I am up to. As for now I hope that each of you will find that new adventure great or small that helps you put one foot in front of the other.
I am challenging myself to attempt to do something which takes a bit of discipline and time. It will hopefully help me purge through my feelings and digest some of the deep down feelings that I have not yet sorted through.
I am going to take the time to re-read the posts and use them as inspiration to reflect and push me to move forward. I want to be my biggest cheerleader and I want to be retrospective.
This will hopefully be a time where I grow and find the voice that I have been speaking about on this blog. I have put it out there that direction, strength, and steps forward are what I have been desperately searching for and I am hoping this new self disciplined adventure will assist me in putting one foot in front of the other.
I apologize for the evasiveness of this post as I am not sure I am quite ready to reveal what my new adventure is going to be, but perhaps there will come a time when I describe what I am up to. As for now I hope that each of you will find that new adventure great or small that helps you put one foot in front of the other.
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